dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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