Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
