Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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