Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
