i permit you to call me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sext me about skeletons
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
