my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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