Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You ruined the universe
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
