the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
