the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
