Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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