just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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