did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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