It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
