It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
