Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize