Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
