butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
