lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Randomize
