grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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