Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
