Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
