I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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