He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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