i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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