theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
