I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
