Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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