Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
