Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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