So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize