The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
