i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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