Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
