I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize