It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
