I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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