Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
