We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
