I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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