So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
