hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
please come you make the beer taste better
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
