There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I smell stomach acid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
