using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
