Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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