Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
