You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
