The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
