I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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