So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
