i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
