So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize