i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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