Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
