I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize