1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I just put wine in my tea
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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