You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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