You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
