Dual....:-)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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