I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
