theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
